Family Life Revealed

I can remember seeing the deep connection between my husband and our daughter the moment that she was born and I wonder what it was like the first time my own dad laid eyes on me. This is for my first love, my dad.

Looking back at the pictures of you and me when I was a baby makes me certain that we shared that same father-daughter love and adventure that Brandon and Autumn have. I can only imagine the fun we had together. There are a couple of pictures that I will forever have in my mind. In one you are are pushing me in a toy cart and another we are eating ice cream. In both you have a huge smile on your face and we are so happy! As I grew up we made memories that I can still remember, ones of wrestling together, playing games and cooking.

Unfortunately, things were not always so joyful between us and I am sorry. I am sorry for listening to things other people said about you even though they may not have been true and more importantly I am sorry for not always being a respectful daughter to you. You always deserve my utmost respect, no matter what.

Many things that I learned from you at a young age are characteristics that I still admire about you. You instilled in me a passion for learning and striving for both intellectual and “street smart” excellence, for working hard, playing hard and caring for others. All of these lessons I learned from your example. I love hearing you talk about science as well as learning new applicable life lessons. I am proud of the dedication you have put into the construction company and the things you accomplished in business as well as the way you work with your hands to build and fix things around the house! I am thankful for the times you showed me how to relax and have fun by going miniature golfing, wakeboarding, playing basketball together. Most of all I appreciate the way you always take care of people, myself included. Not only did you go above and beyond when providing for me but you are consistently there to help friends and  family when they need it. I have learned more from you than you know. Thank you.

I believe that it was so natural for me to love and admire Brandon because he is similar to you in so many ways. Although you are not the only man I now love, you, dad, will always be my first love.

My daughter, Autumn Joy Hansen, was born on November 28, 2009.  That day my heart learned once again what it was to love.  But that love was not yet complete.  You see, love is not just feeling completely passionate.  In that moment I would have given anything for my daughter, everything for my wife.  But the problem was, I didn’t have any clue as to what that surrender, what that love would look like.

While I was a student at Simpson University, there was a quote on a board in one of the dorms.  It went something like this- “How can you die for me if you are not willing to live for me?”  That one hit me hard.  So often we think that dying a physical death is the ultimate expression of love.  What I am finding more and more is that dying to one’s self is what love is all about. That is not to say that dying so that one might live is not an expression of love, but it must come out of the willingness to live.

But what then does it mean to love my wife, to love my daughter, to love my neighbor?  For the answer I turned to three books- First and foremost I turned to the Bible.  Second I turned to To Train up a Child, and third I turned to Facedown.  There is a lot to be learned from in the Old Testament, but for this particular study I started in the Gospels, namely Matthew and John.  Jesus, speaking to his disciples before leaving them, states:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

The challenge brought forth here is incredible.  About to give his life, Christ defines love.  Love is giving not what only what one wants (sometimes not even what one wants), but what one needs.  Love is challenging others to say what they mean, and mean what they say.  Love is to give up all for the sake of the Heavenly Father, for the sake of your neighbor.  Love is giving what you do not yet have.  Love is doing what is right.  Love is to discipline, to correct, to rebuke.  Love is to have peace.  Love is to have joy.  Love is to be humble.  Love is to be holy.  And when the time has come, love is to lay down one’s life.