Family Life Revealed

I can remember seeing the deep connection between my husband and our daughter the moment that she was born and I wonder what it was like the first time my own dad laid eyes on me. This is for my first love, my dad.

Looking back at the pictures of you and me when I was a baby makes me certain that we shared that same father-daughter love and adventure that Brandon and Autumn have. I can only imagine the fun we had together. There are a couple of pictures that I will forever have in my mind. In one you are are pushing me in a toy cart and another we are eating ice cream. In both you have a huge smile on your face and we are so happy! As I grew up we made memories that I can still remember, ones of wrestling together, playing games and cooking.

Unfortunately, things were not always so joyful between us and I am sorry. I am sorry for listening to things other people said about you even though they may not have been true and more importantly I am sorry for not always being a respectful daughter to you. You always deserve my utmost respect, no matter what.

Many things that I learned from you at a young age are characteristics that I still admire about you. You instilled in me a passion for learning and striving for both intellectual and “street smart” excellence, for working hard, playing hard and caring for others. All of these lessons I learned from your example. I love hearing you talk about science as well as learning new applicable life lessons. I am proud of the dedication you have put into the construction company and the things you accomplished in business as well as the way you work with your hands to build and fix things around the house! I am thankful for the times you showed me how to relax and have fun by going miniature golfing, wakeboarding, playing basketball together. Most of all I appreciate the way you always take care of people, myself included. Not only did you go above and beyond when providing for me but you are consistently there to help friends and  family when they need it. I have learned more from you than you know. Thank you.

I believe that it was so natural for me to love and admire Brandon because he is similar to you in so many ways. Although you are not the only man I now love, you, dad, will always be my first love.

Over the past few days closure has been on my heart and mind.  Over the years I have had the blessed opportunity of spending time with many wonderful people.  I have had jubilant experiences that left me high for weeks, and run-ins that brought great devastation.  While pondering both the pain and the pleasures of life, I came to realize that there is one thing in common- love.  You see, it usually doesn’t cut too deep when an enemy slaps you.  But when a friend, someone you trust and love, speaks harsh words the pain can last a lifetime.  Likewise, praise from an enemy is folly, but kind speech from a good friend will soothe your soul.

Though we haven’t always been close, nor have we always called ourselves friends, I would like to think that we would call ourselves brothers and sisters.  There were times that we shed tears; moments of laughter; moments of confusion.  You are my friend, you are my brother (or my sister).  Let’s make things right.  I appreciate you.  You made me who I am today.  You have pushed, prodded and challenged.  Thank you.

Mom

I am sorry.  I have taken advantage of your kindness, gentleness and meekness far too many times.  I have not always respected you.  I am sorry for not always working hard.  From early on you educated me in the maths, reading and writing.  Yet, when the time for formal education came, I threw it all away.  Thank you for your dedication to seeing me do well.  I only regret not paying you back in full.  I am sorry.

You were always there.  Always.  Though not the loudest of us all, you always directed my life by the way that you lived yours.  It is cliche to say that “I have the best mom”, but it is completely the truth.  We shared some tough times, but because you disciplined me early and often, there were far more triumphs than failures.  You gave up a tremendous amount so that your children would have great opportunities.  For the past 20(?) or so years you have gotten up early, done a job that, quite frankly, gives no pleasure, and never complained once.  Even when unappreciated, you give your all to everyone you meet.  You had a great friend, Dana Lang, whom you and I know was a great woman, someone who lit up a room, proclaimed true love.  Mom, you are that woman.  Thank you.  I am proud that my daughter is going to have you as her grandmother.  Autumn is a very lucky girl.

Dad

As I have gotten older I have learned a thing or two (hopefully two).  I now know the impact that words can have on the ones that we love.  There is a saying “sticks and stones break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”  That is complete B.S.  I know that more than once I have hurt you deeply with the words that I have said.  I have joked about your sermons, something that I know you dedicated years of your life to (obviously there was a lot more to being a pastor than just sermons, but even so, the sentiment remains).  Your physical condition has been the brunt of my harsh tones.  Why did I even think that I was doing any good?

But dad, you have been a great father.  I don’t know how many times I have been able to brag about all of the things that you have taught me.  It seems like every day I get to tell my friends and my coworkers just how great you are.  I have never met a man that is as passionate and full of life as you are.  When you find something that you love, you run with it.  That quality is one that is found in very few people.  You have always loved your family.  You played, coached and watched all of your kids in all of their athletic endeavors.  You allowed Josh and I to think, if only for a few, short, delusional moments, that we had what it took to be professional athletes.  You made us all laugh.  You made sure that our family was well taken care of.  You and mom paid unfathomable sums to get Karissa and I through college.  Now we are headed to Hawaii, and I cannot thank you enough for what you have done to ensure that everything is taken care of.  Only you and I know, but I want you to know that I want to be like you when I grow up.  Thank you.

Melissa (My Wife)

No man can give you what you deserve.  Day after day I try, but I do not even come close.  When the sun sets and I think about what I gave, my proud mind gloating at my accomplishments, I come to realize that it is just a drop in the bucket next to your sacrifice.  And then I have the nerve to break you down, to jokingly insult you.  Please forgive me.  I have not always been honest with you, not always made you a priority.  As I sinned against my mother, so it has been with you.  Your kindness, compassion, and mercy have been trampled under foot.  Melissa, you are my best friend, my love, and my wonderful wife.  I am yours.

I am not sure where to start.  Well, I love you, first and foremost.  You have always been one of the hardest (and most dedicated) workers that I have met.  If it wasn’t for you, I am not sure how I would have made it through college.  Your motivation pushed us both to not only graduate, but to excel.  You weren’t ever satisfied with mediocrity in education.  Your effort is contagious.  When it came time to have our daughter, you decided to do it “natural”.  I have no idea what pain you felt (though I admit I did think that I had lost you a few times), but here is what I do know- you didn’t do it because you wanted to feel pain, but because it was for the betterment of our child.  Melissa, you don’t just speak words of encouragement, you live them.  Each day I have the privilege of coming home to a house that is well taken care of, a daughter that is nourished and growing strong, a delicious meal, and a patient wife.  You don’t get enough credit for your role in providing for our little family.  It really is you who allows us to enjoy all that we do.  I am not even sure how I could thank you enough for all that you do.

Karissa

You and I haven’t always been best of friends, or even civil enemies.  I have to say that I have caused a fair share of the strife between us.  I haven’t given to our relationship in healthy ways.  Too many times I have been willing to ignore you as though you weren’t my sister, my friend.  I don’t know who you are, who you have become.  People ask me about you, and I haven’t the words to give them.  Karissa, we need to know each other again.  And I need to take the lead.  I am sorry.

Though we clearly haven’t spent the time together that we must, I know three extraordinary things about you- You have a passion for life that is distinct, and is the object of my envy, your soccer skills are something to be desired, and losing is not in your vocabulary.  When school got tough, you got tougher.  I am thankful that you have grown up to be a woman who is to be used of God.  I know that there are a ton of changes coming soon, and I only hope that Melissa, Autumn, and I can be as much a part of them as possible.  I love you.

Josh

Though I was supposed to be the one to protect and support you, I often feel that I was the first one to put you down.  Maybe I was jealous.  I certainly envy your athleticism and musicianship.  But the fact remains the same- I feel like I have let you down and forced you to make some tough decisions that you should not have to have made.  For not always being there for you, I apologize.

Dude, your athleticism is ridiculous.  It seems like no matter how much effort I put in to a sport, you come along and show me how it is done.  Kind of annoying, don’t you think?  Oh, and why haven’t we boxed yet?  Probably because you will work me, just like you do to everyone else.  I think it is really awesome just how well you are able to pick up just about anything in life.  You started learning about weapons, engines, and cars; all aspects of life that are so very important.  You are going into the Army, and I couldn’t be more proud of you.  You are a soldier.  Though they would never say it, the Army is lucky to get a young man like you.  Josh, you are one of my best friends.

Emily

How many times have I provoked you?  Probably just over a million.  Like I said about my relationship with Josh, I often feel that while I was supposed to be the one that was there for you, I was the one breaking you down.  Though much of our relationship is based on laughter and joking, I realize that it is important for me to not break you, but to strengthen you.  Won’t you forgive me?

With a bright smile, you go into any room and instantly give life.  Your joy is infectious, your love harmonious.  Although you are the youngest of the children, it is you who has the ability to pull us all together.  You have a skill for planning that is rare.  Use this to your advantage.  Never stop having fun.  Too many people want to sap the joy out of the world.  Don’t let them.  Show them that God has given, and let no man take away.  Emily, no matter how  much I kid, Autumn loves you.  I am counting on you to show her the Joy of the Lord.  Emily, you are a gift of God.  Let it be so.

Grandma Claudia

I have to admit, it is a great deal of fun to sit down and debate current politics with you.  But at the same time, I feel that I have often taken our debates much further than I should.  We are told to honor our father and mother.  How much more so should I have been honoring of my grandmother.  I don’t want “silly” debates on relatively unimportant issues to stand in the way of our great relationship.

Thank you for all of your encouragement and wisdom over the years.  It is so easy to get caught up in all of the craziness of life, but you have been that firm guiding force reminding me of a few simple (yet profound) truths- Love God, work hard, and be a blessing to others.  This council has meant more to me than you will ever know.  I also want to thank you (and especially papa) for providing an awesome time for Melissa and I on our honeymoon. You took care of all of the accommodations and made sure that we had a wonderful time.  When I first started at the University, I was in need of a computer.  You and papa graciously provided me with some money.  That support is greatly appreciated.  I want to let you know that, though I no longer own that computer, it has been a blessing to others as I was able to give it to another family.  I can go on and on with all of the great wisdom that you have shared.  Thank you for being a beacon of light into my life.  Your guidance and your prayers have shaped me, and will continue to shape future generations.

Papa Barry

I am not sure why I still carry this with me, but it must be because I never apologized for it.  I remember a time when Ryan and I were having a water fight at your home.  The women were all in Monterrey (I believe) and we were there with you.  Well, after our water fight we tried to come in the house.  At that point you, and rightly so, informed us that while we were soaking wet we couldn’t come in the house.  Not only that, but we needed to clean up the mess that we had made.  For some crazy reason, that didn’t go over really well.  Ryan and I then proceeded to bang on the door and act as immature children.  Then somehow we came up with the “great” idea of attempting to put chalk in the gas tank of the Eagle.  Just as we were about to do it, you walked into the garage.  I am not sure if you saw what we were trying to do, but either way, know this- I am sorry.  That was a very foolish thing for us to have done.

I remember one time you and I were at WinCo in Oakley, and we were trying to buy some nuts.  You filled up several bags.  We got to the register and the total was some astronomical number (well, I thought it was a lot to pay for nuts).  WinCo only took debit cards, and at that point it was a problem as you didn’t know your PIN.  So we then went to the back and put them all back.  That was such a funny experience.  Anyways, on our way out of the store, we were walking to the car and you walked right through the planter box (though there weren’t any plants in it at the time).  I was shocked!  My grandpa actually did something “wrong”!  When we got home I told my mom that my grandpa actually is human after all!  That long story to say this- I have never, ever met someone with as much integrity and purity as what you have displayed to me.  You are the model of what Christ meant when he said, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness” and again when he said “Blessed are the pure in heart”.  Thank you.

I also am thankful for how you shaped me during my developmental years.  I remember spending a lot of time at the airport with you just watching the airplanes go by.  I am still to this day intrigued by the majesty and grace by which a hunk of metal can be propelled through the air.  I have had a great time with you.  It was the little things that made a huge impact on me.  You are a great grandfather.

Grandma Hansen

Much like my quarrels with my Grandma Claudia, my debates and conversations with you have also gotten out of hand.  Though we do not always see eye to eye in everything, it is still my role to listen and glean wisdom from you.  I also have to apologize for not making you as much of a priority as I should.  I am ashamed that I have yet to take my daughter the short distance to see you.  But I am excited that it will all change this coming weekend.

I am probably one of the least sentimental people out there (though this post doesn’t seem to support that theory).  So what I have always appreciated about you is your remembering the things of old.  I think that it is very important that wisdom and history is passed from generation to generation.  Every time I visit you I can be sure to hear stories of my dad when he was young.  I really do appreciate being able to just reminisce and be brought into the magical world of black and white photography.  Thank you for documenting and remembering the history of our family.

Grandpa Hansen

I am sorry that I haven’t gotten to spend time with you like I used to.  I am sorry that I haven’t been there to play cards with, go to museums with, and just enjoy life with.  It is a shame that my daughter has yet to hear stories from one of the best story tellers that I know.

Thank you for taking so much time out of your life to share your passions with me.  I remember being so excited to be able to go to the train museum with you.  Even though there were other guides there, nobody had the understanding of trains that my grandpa had.  While others were doing their jobs, you were living out your dreams.  Even more than just spending time with me and instilling a joy within me, I have to thank you for passing down a love for life.  I see that same passion in my dad, and that same passion has begun to be realized in my own life.  Through all of the tribulations and struggles, you have worked hard and have bettered generations because of it.  Thank you.

Friends and Family Innumerable

When I first sat down to write this, maybe even while it was still just a thought in my mind, I anticipated spending a couple hours remembering each person. But as I have been writing, I have been realizing even more and more that there are hundreds of people that have impacted my life, and to try to cram it all into one entry would be a crime against humanity.  There are at least 30 more people that have touched my life in extraordinary ways.  You have all been used in mighty ways to shake the nations, to shape the generations to come.  The road has not always been smooth, but it has been well traveled.  May we never forget, always forgive, and forever be thankful for the beauty of the moment that we call life.

When I have some “free me time” I usually choose to cook, bake or sew. My interest in these hobbies stems from my grandmother. As I was growing up she took time to teach me about these activities and mold me into the person I am today. I am able to make things from macaroni salad to quilts because of her instruction.

I admire how she organizes and plans out her cooking, produces a plethora of food in a timely manner and then brings the whole family together to enjoy it. It always seemed anti climatic to me that after a LONG day of cooking everyone would inhale the scrumptious food and be on their way; however, she graciously takes the compliments and treasures the few minutes before it is time to do dishes. All the while she does this with joy and never complains. Her attitude trained me to be a joyful servant in the kitchen and I appreciate that. One particular trade that I feel honored to have learned from her is canning jelly. I enjoy helping her make pomegranate jelly from the juice of the beautiful fruit off of my grandparent’s tree.

My grandma has also been a very positive example for me in my role as a wife. She is always eager to serve my grandpa and speak well of him! I am thankful for the fine example I have to look up to in my grandma!

Most people do not have the opportunity to meet their great-great-grandparents. Autumn has been blessed to have two great-great-grandmas living. One she will meet in a couple of weeks and the other is the subject of this encomium.

I will always remember the first time Autumn met her great-great-grandma Marsh. Autumn was still small enough that her great-great-grandma could hold her on her lap and it was such a precious sight to see! This woman who has lived so much of her life was holding this baby who has so much life to live. At that moment I realized that without great-great-grandma Marsh, Autumn would not be and I felt a deep gratitude for the things she had gone through and the life she has lived. Although I do not know her very well at all (she is Brandon’s great-grandma) I learned so much about her character that day. As she held Autumn on her lap she gave her advice about life that filled the room with laughter. She would say things like, “You rule the roost now!” and “If you don’t get your way, just stomp your feet!” Her humor at her age was such a delight to see. Then when she got quiet someone asked what she was thinking and she replied, “I am praying for Autumn.” It was a very special moment, one that extended blessing from one generation to those that follow.

We had the privilege to visit great-great-grandma Marsh again six months later and the interaction between her and Autumn was just as sweet. This time Autumn was much too big for great-great-grandma’s lap but they enjoyed the garden together and exchanged many smiles. As time may be drawing near to the end of one life on earth I want to preserve these memories for Autumn to have. Although she may not remember these times she will know that she has a GREAT-GREAT-grandma Marsh.

As Patrick’s boat pushed west, he felt a strange chill from the memory of the same journey he had made years earlier under very different circumstances.  The smells of the sea and the fog clinging to the waves and the cliffs took him back to when he was a lad of sixteen, traveling to Ireland in bonds with the raiding party that had burned his home and taken him as a slave.

Despite the hardships of having ben a slave for six years, tending to the herds of a Druidic high priest Milchu, Patrick had come to have a supernatural love for Ireland.  It was in Ireland that Patrick had come to know God personally as he walked the woods and mountains alone with the animals.  He had gown up in a Christian home in a British Roman settlement but had never embrace the faith while he lived with his family.  He had been a lax student during that time, something he now greatly regretted and was too independently minded to walk so easily in his family’s faith.  Alone and seemingly forsaken in Ireland, Patrick sought out God and found Him.  Then, through a dream, God led him to escape and eventually return to his family, who welcomed him warmly.  Upon his return to Britain, Patrick resumed his studies with more vigor, intending to join the ministry as his father and grandfather had.

Now, as the oars pulled against the dark waves, Patrick began to see God’s hand in it all.  Shortly after his return to Britain, Patrick had a dream about Ireland in which he heard “the void of the Irish” calling to him: “We be you, holy youth, come and walk among us again.”  Patrick felt this was God’s call to return to Ireland with the Gospel.

Yet he felt unfit for the task, so he journeyed to a monastery in Britain, again leaving his family, and poured himself into being ordained.  Roughly twenty years had passed since then.  At his first opportunity to return, Patrick was passed up by his church elders to be a missionary to Ireland, and another, a man by the name of Palladius, was chosen.  When Palladius was killed a short time later, Patrick was elected to go.

Upon landing, Patrick returned to the village where he had been a slave.  His intent was that his first convert would be the man who had been his master, Milchu.  But when he arrived there, he found Milchu’s home in ashes.  At word of his coming, Milchu had gathered all of his possessions into his home and lit it on fire, killing himself in the flames.  Patrick was horror-struck at the madness of this act and determined to act dramatically to release these people from the fear of false gods that would drive a man to do such a thing.

Patrick spent some time preaching to the locals there and finding out what had happened since his departure and who was in power.  His years as a slave had served him well, as he still spoke their language fluently and with little accent, making it easy to communicate.  In his conversations he learned that the high king of Ireland, King Laeghaire, would be celebrating the Druidic feast of Betine, which coincided with Easter that year, at his courts in Tara.  Patrick headed there immediately, intent on making a statement for the power of God over the idols and occult practices that bound these people.

It was tradition that on the eve of the festival, it would be the high king who lighted the first bonfire of the festival.  Any who defied this would be put to death.  Yet as the king emerged that night to start the festival, Patrick’s bonfire was already glowing brightly for all to see on the hilltop of Slane not far away.  As had Elijah before the prophets of Baal, Patrick had uttered a formal challenge to the Druids and their king.

As Laeghaire gave the order for the perpetrators to be found and killed, his two Druidic high priests offered him a word of caution and prophecy: “O king, live forever.  This fire, which has been lit in defiance to the royal edict, will blaze forever unless it is put out this night on which it has been lit.  The man who lit the fire and the coming kingdom by which it was lit will overcome us all.”  But the king would hear none of it.  He had twenty-seven chariots prepared, and he, his guests, and his court rode to subdue Patrick.

When the chariots arrived, Patrick was summoned before the king.  The king ordered Patrick’s bonfire extinguished, but no matter what his soldiers did, the fire refused to be put out.  Patrick gave a bold testimony for Jesus before them and refused to be silent.  When Laeghaire commanded his soldiers to execute Patrick to quiet him, confusion descended on them, and they attacked on another.  When the two Druid priests then turned their vehemence on Patrick and Jesus’ name, one fell and cracked his head on a rock, while the other somehow fell into the fire and perished.  One version even records that when the king himself pulled his sword to slay Patrick, his arm froze in the air as stiff as a statue and stayed that way until he knelt in surrender to Patrick.  Though it is unclear how many of the details of this encounter are legend and how many actually happened, Patrick’s victory over Laeghaire and his Druids opened the political doors of Ireland to the Gospel.

Patrick thus had a captive and royal audience to be among the first to be converted during his ministry.  Though the king did not become a Christian on this day, his chief bard, his two daughters, and one of his brothers did.  Less than two weeks later they were baptized.  The brother gave Patrick land and a barn that became the first church, and wealth to use to spread Christianity throughout Ireland.  Laeghaire also gave Patrick legal sanction to preach throughout the island.

For the next thirty years Patrick established Christianity throughout Irelend, and though he had other miracles attributed to his ministry, he was not often far from trouble. Ireland was not neatly organized in kingdoms under Laeghaire, so whenever he went into a new area, it was likely that Laeghaire’s sanction would mean very little.  Patrick and his followers were imprisoned on several occasions- Patrick once spent two months in prison wondering if his ministry was over- and he saw many of his converts die, as well as being sentenced to death himself more than once.  Through it all, though, Patrick remained humble and counted only on God’s protection to free him from any situation.  He wrote the following in a chant or prayer, which he titled “The Breastplate” that he taught others to remind them of their purpose and Protector:

Christ shield me today against poison,
against burning, against drowning, against wounding,
so that there may come to me an abundance of reward,
Christ with me, Christ before me,
Christ behind me, Christ in me,
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I arise,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.

Having successfully planted churches and established pastors and priests in every district in Ireland, Patrick died around the age of seventy-two on March 17, A.D. 461.

Story from the Jesus Freaks book.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about the economy as of late, as I trust that many of you have.  The United States government has been doing a lot to step in and try to solve so many issues.  Issues with health care, unemployment, etc.  And that is frustrating.  No, I am not frustrating that the government is providing those services.  I am saddened that they even need to.  You know why they need to?  It is because of us.  Christian, I am speaking to you.  I am speaking to me.  I am speaking to both those who request government services, just as I am speaking to those who don’t need them.

To those who have plenty, help out your family.  Start there.  If you have a family member that needs anything, help them out.  Do everything in your power to help them stand on their own feet.  Once your family is standing strong, begin to reach out further.  Are people in your church hurting?  Help them.  Don’t just give them material possessions, but teach them.  Don’t just teach them, but walk with them.  Don’t just walk with them, but pray for them.  Don’t just pray for them, but provide for them.  Teach them to do the same once they are standing on their own.

Brother, are you one that needs help?  Are you hurting?  Seek out help from your church.  We need to stop acting like everything is fine.  We need to quit being afraid to tell our fellow brothers and sisters the truth.  Seek prayer, seek guidance, seek out work from members in the church.  And when you are standing on your own, the best way to thank those who helped you is to actively seek out those that are in the position that you used to be.  Help them.  Guide them.  Comfort them.  Clothe them.  Feed them.

Check out Matthew 25.  Is your brother hungry?  Feed him.  Is your brother thirsty?  Give him something to drink.  Is your brother naked?  Clothe him.

You know what will happen when God’s people begin to take care of each other?  The world will notice.  Not only will they see the love.  They will actually feel the love.  You will see jobs open up.  You will see the economy thrive.  You will see glory be given to God.  You will see.

My wife and I have started looking to possibly purchase a house.  This process can be so exciting.  For me?  It has gotten me frustrated.  I am not frustrated with the prices of homes, the quality of homes, or really anything to do with homes, however.  I am frustrated with what our society has become.  You see, it has become the norm to take out a loan for 5-10x your yearly income.  But it gets worse.  When you do the calculations you find that the home that you “bought” for $180k, you really just committed to paying $442k.  Why has this become the norm?  Why is it that we are so desperate to “own” a home that we sell our integrity, sell what we know is right, to get it?

But that is not the root of my frustration.  My frustration is just this- we have come to the point where we value money and possessions far more than we value fellow brothers and sisters.  We see the people among us hurting, desperately trying to pay their bills; losing thier homes, their cars, their jobs.  And what is our encouragement to them?  “It’s just the economy, it will pick up.  I am praying for you, brother.”  Now, I am not one to swear, but that is total BS.  People, wake up!  If you think for one moment that simply (and only) praying for someone is what you are called to do, then greatly deceived you are (I speak to those who have possessions, not to those who are in dire need).

To those who own a home: God has blessed you.  Use what He has given you to bless others and bring Him glory.  To those without a home: Do not sell your soul, your integrity to get what man says you need.  For it is God alone who gives to his children what they need.  Your Father hears your prayers, and he values YOU.

So we must learn.  We must seek after the truth.  We must know true riches are.  We must desire wisdom.  And until we learn to value our brothers and sisters beyond even our own welfare, then I say this to you: “What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?” Reference

My daughter, Autumn Joy Hansen, was born on November 28, 2009.  That day my heart learned once again what it was to love.  But that love was not yet complete.  You see, love is not just feeling completely passionate.  In that moment I would have given anything for my daughter, everything for my wife.  But the problem was, I didn’t have any clue as to what that surrender, what that love would look like.

While I was a student at Simpson University, there was a quote on a board in one of the dorms.  It went something like this- “How can you die for me if you are not willing to live for me?”  That one hit me hard.  So often we think that dying a physical death is the ultimate expression of love.  What I am finding more and more is that dying to one’s self is what love is all about. That is not to say that dying so that one might live is not an expression of love, but it must come out of the willingness to live.

But what then does it mean to love my wife, to love my daughter, to love my neighbor?  For the answer I turned to three books- First and foremost I turned to the Bible.  Second I turned to To Train up a Child, and third I turned to Facedown.  There is a lot to be learned from in the Old Testament, but for this particular study I started in the Gospels, namely Matthew and John.  Jesus, speaking to his disciples before leaving them, states:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

The challenge brought forth here is incredible.  About to give his life, Christ defines love.  Love is giving not what only what one wants (sometimes not even what one wants), but what one needs.  Love is challenging others to say what they mean, and mean what they say.  Love is to give up all for the sake of the Heavenly Father, for the sake of your neighbor.  Love is giving what you do not yet have.  Love is doing what is right.  Love is to discipline, to correct, to rebuke.  Love is to have peace.  Love is to have joy.  Love is to be humble.  Love is to be holy.  And when the time has come, love is to lay down one’s life.