Looking back at the pictures of you and me when I was a baby makes me certain that we shared that same father-daughter love and adventure that Brandon and Autumn have. I can only imagine the fun we had together. There are a couple of pictures that I will forever have in my mind. In one you are are pushing me in a toy cart and another we are eating ice cream. In both you have a huge smile on your face and we are so happy! As I grew up we made memories that I can still remember, ones of wrestling together, playing games and cooking.

Unfortunately, things were not always so joyful between us and I am sorry. I am sorry for listening to things other people said about you even though they may not have been true and more importantly I am sorry for not always being a respectful daughter to you. You always deserve my utmost respect, no matter what.

Many things that I learned from you at a young age are characteristics that I still admire about you. You instilled in me a passion for learning and striving for both intellectual and “street smart” excellence, for working hard, playing hard and caring for others. All of these lessons I learned from your example. I love hearing you talk about science as well as learning new applicable life lessons. I am proud of the dedication you have put into the construction company and the things you accomplished in business as well as the way you work with your hands to build and fix things around the house! I am thankful for the times you showed me how to relax and have fun by going miniature golfing, wakeboarding, playing basketball together. Most of all I appreciate the way you always take care of people, myself included. Not only did you go above and beyond when providing for me but you are consistently there to help friends and  family when they need it. I have learned more from you than you know. Thank you.

I believe that it was so natural for me to love and admire Brandon because he is similar to you in so many ways. Although you are not the only man I now love, you, dad, will always be my first love.

Though we haven’t always been close, nor have we always called ourselves friends, I would like to think that we would call ourselves brothers and sisters.  There were times that we shed tears; moments of laughter; moments of confusion.  You are my friend, you are my brother (or my sister).  Let’s make things right.  I appreciate you.  You made me who I am today.  You have pushed, prodded and challenged.  Thank you.

Mom

I am sorry.  I have taken advantage of your kindness, gentleness and meekness far too many times.  I have not always respected you.  I am sorry for not always working hard.  From early on you educated me in the maths, reading and writing.  Yet, when the time for formal education came, I threw it all away.  Thank you for your dedication to seeing me do well.  I only regret not paying you back in full.  I am sorry.

You were always there.  Always.  Though not the loudest of us all, you always directed my life by the way that you lived yours.  It is cliche to say that “I have the best mom”, but it is completely the truth.  We shared some tough times, but because you disciplined me early and often, there were far more triumphs than failures.  You gave up a tremendous amount so that your children would have great opportunities.  For the past 20(?) or so years you have gotten up early, done a job that, quite frankly, gives no pleasure, and never complained once.  Even when unappreciated, you give your all to everyone you meet.  You had a great friend, Dana Lang, whom you and I know was a great woman, someone who lit up a room, proclaimed true love.  Mom, you are that woman.  Thank you.  I am proud that my daughter is going to have you as her grandmother.  Autumn is a very lucky girl.

Dad

As I have gotten older I have learned a thing or two (hopefully two).  I now know the impact that words can have on the ones that we love.  There is a saying “sticks and stones break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”  That is complete B.S.  I know that more than once I have hurt you deeply with the words that I have said.  I have joked about your sermons, something that I know you dedicated years of your life to (obviously there was a lot more to being a pastor than just sermons, but even so, the sentiment remains).  Your physical condition has been the brunt of my harsh tones.  Why did I even think that I was doing any good?

But dad, you have been a great father.  I don’t know how many times I have been able to brag about all of the things that you have taught me.  It seems like every day I get to tell my friends and my coworkers just how great you are.  I have never met a man that is as passionate and full of life as you are.  When you find something that you love, you run with it.  That quality is one that is found in very few people.  You have always loved your family.  You played, coached and watched all of your kids in all of their athletic endeavors.  You allowed Josh and I to think, if only for a few, short, delusional moments, that we had what it took to be professional athletes.  You made us all laugh.  You made sure that our family was well taken care of.  You and mom paid unfathomable sums to get Karissa and I through college.  Now we are headed to Hawaii, and I cannot thank you enough for what you have done to ensure that everything is taken care of.  Only you and I know, but I want you to know that I want to be like you when I grow up.  Thank you.

Melissa (My Wife)

No man can give you what you deserve.  Day after day I try, but I do not even come close.  When the sun sets and I think about what I gave, my proud mind gloating at my accomplishments, I come to realize that it is just a drop in the bucket next to your sacrifice.  And then I have the nerve to break you down, to jokingly insult you.  Please forgive me.  I have not always been honest with you, not always made you a priority.  As I sinned against my mother, so it has been with you.  Your kindness, compassion, and mercy have been trampled under foot.  Melissa, you are my best friend, my love, and my wonderful wife.  I am yours.

I am not sure where to start.  Well, I love you, first and foremost.  You have always been one of the hardest (and most dedicated) workers that I have met.  If it wasn’t for you, I am not sure how I would have made it through college.  Your motivation pushed us both to not only graduate, but to excel.  You weren’t ever satisfied with mediocrity in education.  Your effort is contagious.  When it came time to have our daughter, you decided to do it “natural”.  I have no idea what pain you felt (though I admit I did think that I had lost you a few times), but here is what I do know- you didn’t do it because you wanted to feel pain, but because it was for the betterment of our child.  Melissa, you don’t just speak words of encouragement, you live them.  Each day I have the privilege of coming home to a house that is well taken care of, a daughter that is nourished and growing strong, a delicious meal, and a patient wife.  You don’t get enough credit for your role in providing for our little family.  It really is you who allows us to enjoy all that we do.  I am not even sure how I could thank you enough for all that you do.

Karissa

You and I haven’t always been best of friends, or even civil enemies.  I have to say that I have caused a fair share of the strife between us.  I haven’t given to our relationship in healthy ways.  Too many times I have been willing to ignore you as though you weren’t my sister, my friend.  I don’t know who you are, who you have become.  People ask me about you, and I haven’t the words to give them.  Karissa, we need to know each other again.  And I need to take the lead.  I am sorry.

Though we clearly haven’t spent the time together that we must, I know three extraordinary things about you- You have a passion for life that is distinct, and is the object of my envy, your soccer skills are something to be desired, and losing is not in your vocabulary.  When school got tough, you got tougher.  I am thankful that you have grown up to be a woman who is to be used of God.  I know that there are a ton of changes coming soon, and I only hope that Melissa, Autumn, and I can be as much a part of them as possible.  I love you.

Josh

Though I was supposed to be the one to protect and support you, I often feel that I was the first one to put you down.  Maybe I was jealous.  I certainly envy your athleticism and musicianship.  But the fact remains the same- I feel like I have let you down and forced you to make some tough decisions that you should not have to have made.  For not always being there for you, I apologize.

Dude, your athleticism is ridiculous.  It seems like no matter how much effort I put in to a sport, you come along and show me how it is done.  Kind of annoying, don’t you think?  Oh, and why haven’t we boxed yet?  Probably because you will work me, just like you do to everyone else.  I think it is really awesome just how well you are able to pick up just about anything in life.  You started learning about weapons, engines, and cars; all aspects of life that are so very important.  You are going into the Army, and I couldn’t be more proud of you.  You are a soldier.  Though they would never say it, the Army is lucky to get a young man like you.  Josh, you are one of my best friends.

Emily

How many times have I provoked you?  Probably just over a million.  Like I said about my relationship with Josh, I often feel that while I was supposed to be the one that was there for you, I was the one breaking you down.  Though much of our relationship is based on laughter and joking, I realize that it is important for me to not break you, but to strengthen you.  Won’t you forgive me?

With a bright smile, you go into any room and instantly give life.  Your joy is infectious, your love harmonious.  Although you are the youngest of the children, it is you who has the ability to pull us all together.  You have a skill for planning that is rare.  Use this to your advantage.  Never stop having fun.  Too many people want to sap the joy out of the world.  Don’t let them.  Show them that God has given, and let no man take away.  Emily, no matter how  much I kid, Autumn loves you.  I am counting on you to show her the Joy of the Lord.  Emily, you are a gift of God.  Let it be so.

Grandma Claudia

I have to admit, it is a great deal of fun to sit down and debate current politics with you.  But at the same time, I feel that I have often taken our debates much further than I should.  We are told to honor our father and mother.  How much more so should I have been honoring of my grandmother.  I don’t want “silly” debates on relatively unimportant issues to stand in the way of our great relationship.

Thank you for all of your encouragement and wisdom over the years.  It is so easy to get caught up in all of the craziness of life, but you have been that firm guiding force reminding me of a few simple (yet profound) truths- Love God, work hard, and be a blessing to others.  This council has meant more to me than you will ever know.  I also want to thank you (and especially papa) for providing an awesome time for Melissa and I on our honeymoon. You took care of all of the accommodations and made sure that we had a wonderful time.  When I first started at the University, I was in need of a computer.  You and papa graciously provided me with some money.  That support is greatly appreciated.  I want to let you know that, though I no longer own that computer, it has been a blessing to others as I was able to give it to another family.  I can go on and on with all of the great wisdom that you have shared.  Thank you for being a beacon of light into my life.  Your guidance and your prayers have shaped me, and will continue to shape future generations.

Papa Barry

I am not sure why I still carry this with me, but it must be because I never apologized for it.  I remember a time when Ryan and I were having a water fight at your home.  The women were all in Monterrey (I believe) and we were there with you.  Well, after our water fight we tried to come in the house.  At that point you, and rightly so, informed us that while we were soaking wet we couldn’t come in the house.  Not only that, but we needed to clean up the mess that we had made.  For some crazy reason, that didn’t go over really well.  Ryan and I then proceeded to bang on the door and act as immature children.  Then somehow we came up with the “great” idea of attempting to put chalk in the gas tank of the Eagle.  Just as we were about to do it, you walked into the garage.  I am not sure if you saw what we were trying to do, but either way, know this- I am sorry.  That was a very foolish thing for us to have done.

I remember one time you and I were at WinCo in Oakley, and we were trying to buy some nuts.  You filled up several bags.  We got to the register and the total was some astronomical number (well, I thought it was a lot to pay for nuts).  WinCo only took debit cards, and at that point it was a problem as you didn’t know your PIN.  So we then went to the back and put them all back.  That was such a funny experience.  Anyways, on our way out of the store, we were walking to the car and you walked right through the planter box (though there weren’t any plants in it at the time).  I was shocked!  My grandpa actually did something “wrong”!  When we got home I told my mom that my grandpa actually is human after all!  That long story to say this- I have never, ever met someone with as much integrity and purity as what you have displayed to me.  You are the model of what Christ meant when he said, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness” and again when he said “Blessed are the pure in heart”.  Thank you.

I also am thankful for how you shaped me during my developmental years.  I remember spending a lot of time at the airport with you just watching the airplanes go by.  I am still to this day intrigued by the majesty and grace by which a hunk of metal can be propelled through the air.  I have had a great time with you.  It was the little things that made a huge impact on me.  You are a great grandfather.

Grandma Hansen

Much like my quarrels with my Grandma Claudia, my debates and conversations with you have also gotten out of hand.  Though we do not always see eye to eye in everything, it is still my role to listen and glean wisdom from you.  I also have to apologize for not making you as much of a priority as I should.  I am ashamed that I have yet to take my daughter the short distance to see you.  But I am excited that it will all change this coming weekend.

I am probably one of the least sentimental people out there (though this post doesn’t seem to support that theory).  So what I have always appreciated about you is your remembering the things of old.  I think that it is very important that wisdom and history is passed from generation to generation.  Every time I visit you I can be sure to hear stories of my dad when he was young.  I really do appreciate being able to just reminisce and be brought into the magical world of black and white photography.  Thank you for documenting and remembering the history of our family.

Grandpa Hansen

I am sorry that I haven’t gotten to spend time with you like I used to.  I am sorry that I haven’t been there to play cards with, go to museums with, and just enjoy life with.  It is a shame that my daughter has yet to hear stories from one of the best story tellers that I know.

Thank you for taking so much time out of your life to share your passions with me.  I remember being so excited to be able to go to the train museum with you.  Even though there were other guides there, nobody had the understanding of trains that my grandpa had.  While others were doing their jobs, you were living out your dreams.  Even more than just spending time with me and instilling a joy within me, I have to thank you for passing down a love for life.  I see that same passion in my dad, and that same passion has begun to be realized in my own life.  Through all of the tribulations and struggles, you have worked hard and have bettered generations because of it.  Thank you.

Friends and Family Innumerable

When I first sat down to write this, maybe even while it was still just a thought in my mind, I anticipated spending a couple hours remembering each person. But as I have been writing, I have been realizing even more and more that there are hundreds of people that have impacted my life, and to try to cram it all into one entry would be a crime against humanity.  There are at least 30 more people that have touched my life in extraordinary ways.  You have all been used in mighty ways to shake the nations, to shape the generations to come.  The road has not always been smooth, but it has been well traveled.  May we never forget, always forgive, and forever be thankful for the beauty of the moment that we call life.

“No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After all, you find out the strength of the German army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness — they have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ, because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means — the only complete realist.”

Divorce, crime, and debt are prevalent in American society, a collection of people who pride themselves in their accomplishments, in being a super-power.  Over the past century our knowledge has doubled, and doubled again.  We can find books on any subject, get a PhD in virtually any subject.  But our homes are broken.  How long can society last on this beach of shifting sand?  Instead of building a foundation, we are racing to see who can build the tallest, most magnificent building.  But the bigger they are, the harder they fall.

And while I don’t dare argue for even a second that knowledge is unimportant, it is wisdom that holds a society, a home together.  Regardless of your opinion on groups like the Amish, it is very difficult to argue that they are not a stable people (no they are not perfect, far from it).  An object of our mockery (be it in fun or in seriousness), the group has one of the most stable foundations I have encountered.  When tragedy strikes, the people know how to respond.  That is wisdom.  No, you will not find the latest Apple gadget, amazing vehicles or scientific theories coming from the Amish.  But when society all around them is coming crashing down, you will see a group that is standing firm.

But that is not to say that it is impossible, or even improbably to attain both wisdom and knowledge.  But if we want our knowledge to be worthwhile, it must be built upon a foundation of wisdom.  Where there is wisdom, there is the power to gain knowledge and understanding.  Anything else is just a chasing of the wind.

Melissa, I love you. Thank you for being my bride and my best friend. I will always be yours.

The following is an excerpt that I have found especially encouraging and helpful in my training and leading of Autumn-

Understanding the nature of love
You may have strong feelings that prevent you from spanking your child, but it is ignorance to claim that love is your motive. The God who made little children, and therefore knows what is best for them, has provided them parents to employ the rod in training up their children. To refrain from doing so, based on a claim of love, is an indictment against God himself. Your actions declare that either God does not desire what is best for your child, or you know better than He.

Parent, you must recognize the difference between true love and sentiment. Natural human sentiment- often taken to be love- can be harmful if not submitted to wisdom. Love is not sentiment. That is, love is not simply the deep feelings we have in association with those close to us. Such feelings can be, and often are, self-serving.

Love is not an emotion at all. Love, in the purest sense, is goodwill toward and good doing for your fellow man. “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” True love is disinterested. That is, there is no thought of personal gain or of personal loss in the act of loving.

The Pearls, throught great, and articulate argument continue to debunk the theories that our societies have so frequently entitled “Love”. I highly recommend this book, and upon reading it, I believe that you will as well.

Luke 6

Shall we begin today to be men of prayer, if we have never done so before?  Let us not put it off till a more convenient season.  God wants me to pray.  The dear Savior wants me to pray.  He needs my prayers.  So much- in fact, everything- depends upon prayer.  How dare we hold back?  Let every one of us ask on our knees this question:

If no one on earth prayed for the salvation of sinners more fervently or more frequently than I do, how many of them would be converted to God through prayer?

Do we spend ten minutes a day in prayer?  Do we consider it important enough for that?

Ten minutes a day on our knees in prayer- when the Kingdom of heaven can be had for the asking!

Ten minutes?  It seems a very inadequate portion of our time to spend in taking hold of God (Isa. 64:7)!

And is it prayer when we do “say” our prayers, or are we just repeating daily a few phrases which have become practically meaningless, whilst our thoughts are wandering hither and thither?

If God were to answer the words we repeated on our knees this morning, should we know it? Should we recognize the answer?  Do we even remember what we asked for?  He does answer.  He has given us his word for it.  He always answers every real prayer of faith.

-The Kneeling Christian

Why is it that so often we (and I am included in this) complain at how the world is, how our world is, yet we very rarely go to our knees and petition the very God who created it all?  I am far too guilty of bringing my deepest complaints, requests, and petitions to my wife, yet rarely to my savior.  Too often my prayer is “Thank you for this awesome weather”.  While there is nothing wrong with truly praising God for the weather (we should praise God in and for all things), we must learn to go beyond just speaking words, and learn to go boldly before the throne, bringing our whole heart and mind before Him.

15 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.16 For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him.17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.18 And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy.19 For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him,

20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.
21 Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior.22 But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation–

23 if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant.

Those words, I consider to be the most rich, most inspiring, and awesome in all of scripture. Absolutely beautiful.

But that is not the root of my frustration.  My frustration is just this- we have come to the point where we value money and possessions far more than we value fellow brothers and sisters.  We see the people among us hurting, desperately trying to pay their bills; losing thier homes, their cars, their jobs.  And what is our encouragement to them?  “It’s just the economy, it will pick up.  I am praying for you, brother.”  Now, I am not one to swear, but that is total BS.  People, wake up!  If you think for one moment that simply (and only) praying for someone is what you are called to do, then greatly deceived you are (I speak to those who have possessions, not to those who are in dire need).

To those who own a home: God has blessed you.  Use what He has given you to bless others and bring Him glory.  To those without a home: Do not sell your soul, your integrity to get what man says you need.  For it is God alone who gives to his children what they need.  Your Father hears your prayers, and he values YOU.

So we must learn.  We must seek after the truth.  We must know true riches are.  We must desire wisdom.  And until we learn to value our brothers and sisters beyond even our own welfare, then I say this to you: “What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?” Reference

May your feet be strengthened that you might walk along the narrow path that the Lord sets before you

May your hands grow strong that you might be able to serve those in need

May the Lord grant you with vision, that you might see and show mercy

May the Lord give you ears that you might listen to Wisdom, and follow her advice for all of your days

May the Lord give you a voice that speaks the truth, speaks of love, and speaks with authority, which is given from God alone

May the Lord give you a mind that you might know Him. May you be given wisdom and knowledge beyond your years

May the Lord give you a heart that is passionate, merciful, and kind. May your heart be for the orphans and the widows. But most of all may your heart be for your God.

While I was a student at Simpson University, there was a quote on a board in one of the dorms.  It went something like this- “How can you die for me if you are not willing to live for me?”  That one hit me hard.  So often we think that dying a physical death is the ultimate expression of love.  What I am finding more and more is that dying to one’s self is what love is all about. That is not to say that dying so that one might live is not an expression of love, but it must come out of the willingness to live.

But what then does it mean to love my wife, to love my daughter, to love my neighbor?  For the answer I turned to three books- First and foremost I turned to the Bible.  Second I turned to To Train up a Child, and third I turned to Facedown.  There is a lot to be learned from in the Old Testament, but for this particular study I started in the Gospels, namely Matthew and John.  Jesus, speaking to his disciples before leaving them, states:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

The challenge brought forth here is incredible.  About to give his life, Christ defines love.  Love is giving not what only what one wants (sometimes not even what one wants), but what one needs.  Love is challenging others to say what they mean, and mean what they say.  Love is to give up all for the sake of the Heavenly Father, for the sake of your neighbor.  Love is giving what you do not yet have.  Love is doing what is right.  Love is to discipline, to correct, to rebuke.  Love is to have peace.  Love is to have joy.  Love is to be humble.  Love is to be holy.  And when the time has come, love is to lay down one’s life.